Anonymous: How did the story end of the hole in the floor at your school and the cheeto?!

good question! but please redirect all cheeto related questions to my main blog!

there you will find the answer!

i swapped URLs so this is actually my side blog. follow teen-heat if you’re here because of a viral post

teen-heat:

After a disappointing discussion with a close friend, I’ve attempted to put into writing a compilation of the horrors that women face on a daily basis and how they relate to societal norms as a whole. This is a solution that took me four years to learn, despite encountering the problem consistently since the age of 12… My friend insisted that although a woman doesn’t deserve to be harassed, she’s making a conscious decision to accept the likelihood of harassment when she exposes skin. In his example, the fictional girl is wearing short-shorts. 

You might be more interested in simply arguing the point that wearing short-shorts in public is a stupid idea. Skip to the bottom if that’s your issue. But I suggest you read the stuff in the middle because the middle explains why blaming the victim creates a chain reaction and LITERALLY RUINS EVERYTHING OH MY GOODNESS. The end talks about why blaming harassment on clothing is stupid. The middle talks about why blaming harassment on clothing is such an incredibly fucked up thing to do in the first place. Ok. 

HERE WE GO! Are you ready?? 

The implication that by wearing “short shorts” a woman is making a conscious choice to be catcalled, or is accepting her likelihood to be harassed, does not put sole responsibility on a woman’s shorts. Instead, it puts responsibility on everything a woman wears. How revealing an outfit is is subjective. To most people raised in American culture, a sundress is tasteful and casual; to other cultures, a female exposing any skin whatsoever is a disgrace. When a woman experiences harassment, the first question she is asked, or what is always wondered, is “What was she wearing?” 

There are lots of reasons why this is a fucked up thing to say. There are lots of reasons why the reason that all of these fucked up things happen is because of that ONE LITTLE IMPLICATION that what a lady wears has a part in the way a stranger makes her feel uncomfortable. You should not imply this. Here is why.

  1. What men consider attractive and alluring is not unanimous. If a guy has a thing for skinny jeans and thinks that they’re sexy, he will tell you so. Again, modesty is relative. If you enforce the idea that a woman can protect herself by being modest, you enforce the idea that men can’t control themselves.
  2. The age-old suggestion to “cover up,” which women have been told for centuries, thousands of years, is ineffective. “You were wearing short shorts” becomes “you were wearing high heels, you were wearing a dress, you were wearing tight pants, you were wearing a tight shirt, you smiled, you were wearing an awful lot of makeup.”
  3. This gives abusers an excuse to continue abusing. It implies that a woman’s clothing is her consent — even just a little bit. Telling a woman that she has control over her harassment is not just a slippery slope. It is a sheer drop into a dark abyss. This statement is entirely male-oriented. It insists that women dress for the approval of men. It insists that women should interrupt their lives to appease men.
  4. Blaming the victim’s shorts leaves all women feeling alone, wondering who will sympathize with them, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. You leave men with every excuse imaginable, and you leave women with all of the guilt imaginable.
  5. Literally ANY responsibility placed on the victim will make the victim feel ashamed. 

Now have an analogy that is in my opinion far better than the ever-popular comparison of a woman in a revealing outfit to a valuable object in a rough part of town:

When your house has termites, you call an exterminator. You purchase insecticide. You work to prevent further termite damage. Similar to a home with termites, when your community has chauvinistic men with a penchant for sexual harassment, you instruct women not to go out at night and to try to avoid busy streets. You also instruct women to avoid deserted streets. Despite hot weather, you might tell a woman to cover up.

Now back to the termites: when you have termites, you take it upon yourself to get rid of the termites, because termites are termites. But when you’ve got lecherous men, you should not have to take it upon yourself to protect yourself. Men are not termites. By repeating over and over that “boys will be boys,” you are basically saying that, sorry, men are termites. The “boys will be boys” motto is a pathetic way to excuse male immaturity and irresponsibility. It is rampant in our culture, force-fed from birth. If you’re a man, you might find this offensive, and you probably should. But instead, you have fun. When you catcall women, you’re just being a boy! It’s in your nature! You are not held to any societal standard except for reckless masculinity! It’s a free pass to do whatever the fuck you want, and since women are raised to be submissive, polite, and responsible — the exact opposite of the male motto — when women depart from these structures, we are condemned, mocked, blamed, made to be ashamed, our worth diminished. And men suffer from this, too. 

All of these things come back to the idea that women are docile, that women are property, that women are decoration, that women are wishing wells waiting for compliment-coins, that women owe kindness to strangers, that women should always smile, that women should dress for men, that women do dress for men, that women exist for men… That men own the world, and a woman on the street without a male companion belongs to the men who pass her by. It reinforces the popular, often subconscious belief that this world is not ours to occupy or explore. That not even our bodies or clothing are ours. That the streets belong to men. That we belong to our boyfriends.

Last year I was leaving a restaurant in a nice part of town, on a date with my boyfriend at the time. A stranger approached us. He looked at me, then looked at my boyfriend. He told my boyfriend that I was hot. He told my boyfriend that I was pretty. He congratulated my boyfriend. And just before he turned to walk away, he told my boyfriend to keep me on a leash. 

When a woman is alone, she’s catcalled and harassed, sexualized and objectified. When a woman is accompanied by a male partner, the objectification doesn’t stop. But she isn’t addressed — the partner is, because she’s a fancy car or a nice watch and he owns her. 

Regarding safety, sexual assault, rape, and a woman’s clothing:

It’s important to note that most rapes are committed by friends or acquaintances of the victim, NOT a stranger in an alley. Most rapes are also planned in advance. What a woman wears is actually unimportant.

Rape is one of the most underreported crimes in the world because of the backlash people face when speaking up. Again, this revolves around “what were you wearing? where were you going? what were you drinking? you had a choice, you should have known better.” 

Plenty of assaulted women are not dressed sexily, including women draped in head-to-toe burqas. Interestingly, veiled women are blamed, too: “He must have seen a bit of her ankle, wrist, hair, neck… Who could resist!?”

Via research conducted by the University of Minnesota: “Over 50% of reported rapes occur in the home. 80% of sexual assaults reported by college age women and adult women were perpetrated by close friends or family members. There is no common profile of a rapist. Rapes are committed by people from all economic levels, all races, all occupations. A rapist can be your doctor, your boss, your clergyman, your superintendent, your partner, your lover, your friend or your date.” 

"No other crime victim is looked upon with the degree of suspicion and doubt as a victim of rape. Although there are numerous reasons why society has cast blame on the victims of rape, a major reason found in studies is that of a feeling of self protection. If one believes that the victim was responsible because she put herself in an unsafe position, such as being out late at night, drinking alcohol, dressing in a certain way, or "leading on" the rapist, then we are able to feel safer because "we wouldn’t do those things." But, the basic fact remains that without consent, no means no, no matter what the situation or circumstances."

Anonymous: Are you actually able to read the font on your blog?

sooooorry

10 Trends Women Hate that Men LOVE!

teen-heat:

1. Backwards Baseball Caps

image

Boys, we know this look brings back memories of the early days — going to baseball games with your deadbeat fathers as a wide-eyed children. But here’s the deal: if you aren’t at a baseball game, ditch the hat. You look like a date rapist. If you are a date rapist, don’t ditch the hat. This will help us identify you better.

2. Not Showering

image

We get it. Soap is slippery. But no woman wants to smell your B.O. or come anywhere near your oily hair. If you want to avoid the need to shower, follow this tip.

Pizza for dinner? DON’T blot the pizza grease in your hair! It may seem like a good idea (and great for the environment), but the risks outweigh the benefits.

3. Fedoras

image

We’ve said it time and time again. Fedoras aren’t cool. Next.

4. Brown Flip Flops

image

Brown flip flops are the sweatpants of footwear. If you’ve been trying to fool people into perceiving you as stylish, the jig will be up the moment you slip on your favorite pair of brown dad-wear shoes. Besides, you probably got them at Target. Or Ron Jon’s Surf Shop when you forgot your shoes at the beach that one time.

5. Basketball Shorts

image

If you’re wearing basketball shorts to the grocery store or the post office, there’s a 99% chance that you don’t play basketball. Huge basketball shorts are basically long skirts for men. Admittedly, they’re probably breezy, but you’d look way less ridiculous if you were wearing a REAL skirt. These things are just flat-out ugly. Why wear a tent? Basketball shorts make your thighs look like a campground for vermin. Or a circus. Depending on how often you don’t shower, it could be a flea circus.

6. Pink Polo Shirts

image

Nothing says “I’m not in touch with my feminine side” like a pink polo shirt. Pink polos are a misplaced attempt at wooing the ladies — yes, we know what you’re trying to do, and no, it is not working. Any fool can slip on a Lacoste shirt and pop the collar. Without facetiousness, I can ascertain that your mom was probably thrilled when you asked her to buy one of these bad boys for you in high school. In high school, pink polos were the peak of male maturity, but now it’s time to move on.

7. Old Navy Jeans

image

Really? REALLY?? 

I can’t believe Old Navy is still in business. Listen, guys: Old Navy jeans are HIDEOUS. Like, really hideous. Women who shop at Old Navy look like seventh grade language arts teachers — men who shop at Old Navy look like seventh graders.

8. Socks and Sandals

image

There are few things in this world as unappetizing as a sock-and-sandal foot sandwich. This is one of those things that popular athletes got away with in high school, either because they had practice before school or after. Because of their social status, no one ever called them on it, but SOMEBODY should have. Thank God I’m calling you out right now.

9. Axe Body Spray

image

Excluding medical complications, he number one leading cause of death for women is male violence. The second leading cause of death is your body spray, probably.

Like I said earlier, showers are difficult and soap is slippery, so we do appreciate you trying. But please, try harder. A can of noxious sea lion pheromones will never replace a good old-fashioned shower. 

10. Madras Shorts

image

Madras shorts went out of style in 2008. Unless you’re going golfing at the club with your estranged father and new stepmom, these should never see the light of day. With the exception of maybe yachting with your grandparents, there is no excuse for these patchy crotch-quilts to go on a walk with you anywhere. 

10 Trends Women Hate that Men LOVE!

teen-heat:

1. Backwards Baseball Caps

image

Boys, we know this look brings back memories of the early days — going to baseball games with your deadbeat fathers as a wide-eyed children. But here’s the deal: if you aren’t at a baseball game, ditch the hat. You look like a date rapist. If you are a date rapist, don’t ditch the hat. This will help us identify you better.

2. Not Showering

image

We get it. Soap is slippery. But no woman wants to smell your B.O. or come anywhere near your oily hair. If you want to avoid the need to shower, follow this tip.

Pizza for dinner? DON’T blot the pizza grease in your hair! It may seem like a good idea (and great for the environment), but the risks outweigh the benefits.

3. Fedoras

image

We’ve said it time and time again. Fedoras aren’t cool. Next.

4. Brown Flip Flops

image

Brown flip flops are the sweatpants of footwear. If you’ve been trying to fool people into perceiving you as stylish, the jig will be up the moment you slip on your favorite pair of brown dad-wear shoes. Besides, you probably got them at Target. Or Ron Jon’s Surf Shop when you forgot your shoes at the beach that one time.

5. Basketball Shorts

image

If you’re wearing basketball shorts to the grocery store or the post office, there’s a 99% chance that you don’t play basketball. Huge basketball shorts are basically long skirts for men. Admittedly, they’re probably breezy, but you’d look way less ridiculous if you were wearing a REAL skirt. These things are just flat-out ugly. Why wear a tent? Basketball shorts make your thighs look like a campground for vermin. Or a circus. Depending on how often you don’t shower, it could be a flea circus.

6. Pink Polo Shirts

image

Nothing says “I’m not in touch with my feminine side” like a pink polo shirt. Pink polos are a misplaced attempt at wooing the ladies — yes, we know what you’re trying to do, and no, it is not working. Any fool can slip on a Lacoste shirt and pop the collar. Without facetiousness, I can ascertain that your mom was probably thrilled when you asked her to buy one of these bad boys for you in high school. In high school, pink polos were the peak of male maturity, but now it’s time to move on.

7. Old Navy Jeans

image

Really? REALLY?? 

I can’t believe Old Navy is still in business. Listen, guys: Old Navy jeans are HIDEOUS. Like, really hideous. Women who shop at Old Navy look like seventh grade language arts teachers — men who shop at Old Navy look like seventh graders.

8. Socks and Sandals

image

There are few things in this world as unappetizing as a sock-and-sandal foot sandwich. This is one of those things that popular athletes got away with in high school, either because they had practice before school or after. Because of their social status, no one ever called them on it, but SOMEBODY should have. Thank God I’m calling you out right now.

9. Axe Body Spray

image

Excluding medical complications, he number one leading cause of death for women is male violence. The second leading cause of death is your body spray, probably.

Like I said earlier, showers are difficult and soap is slippery, so we do appreciate you trying. But please, try harder. A can of noxious sea lion pheromones will never replace a good old-fashioned shower. 

10. Madras Shorts

image

Madras shorts went out of style in 2008. Unless you’re going golfing at the club with your estranged father and new stepmom, these should never see the light of day. With the exception of maybe yachting with your grandparents, there is no excuse for these patchy crotch-quilts to go on a walk with you anywhere. 

Anonymous: i love your poems

thank you very much

teen-heat:

there is nothing better than looking out the window of a dark room at night and seeing the greyish pinkish golden glow of a snowy sky and soft white droopy branches

i wish the world was always this quiet

teengrrrlsquad:

been listening to the smiths again
teengrrrlsquad:

i have to write a poem about how to write poetry this is a nightmare
i just think if you aren’t reading your poetry out loud or you aren’t famous poetry is so embarrassing it’s like “here you go everyone please read my mind and make fun of me”